Tough Choices
by N Tonks Fan
Summary: Instead of Octavia being captured and taken to Polis, Bellamy is caught and sentenced to death by Lexa. Clarke must chose between saving Bellamy and abiding by the Commanders rule. Bellarke and Clexa. Set at the start of S3ep7. Oneshot.
As Clarke stood listening to Lexa go into the history of the Grounders historic Ascension Day the doors to the hall were thrown open and a savage male stormed in dragging behind him-

"Bellamy!" Clarke yelped in surprise.

Bellamy was thrown roughly to the ground where he made no attempt to move with both his hands and feet tied.

His eyes found hers but instead of the warm brown that they usually were she saw only darkness. Even with a gag covering his mouth she could see that he was glaring at her.

She was taken back to their last meeting when all the pain that Bellamy had been feeling had overwhelmed him and he had let her have it. Never had she felt so lost than when he was shouting at her with such hurt and loss on his face. And what could she have said in return? Nothing, for everything he had said had been true, she had abandoned him, left him with the burden of protecting their people, had chosen to stay with Lexa rather than to return home with him.

He was damaged but she knew that she could get through to him in time. Even though he had handcuffed her she had seen the struggle in his eyes as he was doing so. He had been so conflicted that she didn't have the heart to be angry over his betrayal although she did often wonder what exactly his plan had been for her. To hand her over to Pike? To throw her in the cage with the rest of the Grounders? Perhaps it was best not to know. The only thing she knew for certain was that she did not blame him. Bellamy always did what he felt was best, whether in fact that was the case or not. Unfortunately he was easily led and often jumped into action without thinking things through clearly which was why as a team they worked so well together as she liked to have time to process before making decisions.

Clarke recoiled at his angry stare and looked uncertainly at Lexa who was watching her closely.

Lexa looked away from Clarke and addressed the Grounder: "What is going on here?" she snapped. "You're interrupting the celebrations."

"Apologies Heda but this one," he kicked Bellamy who grunted. "Was part of a Skaikru team that destroyed our village yesterday evening."

Clarke had a sharp intake of breath. Before, she would have been convinced that the Grounder was lying but now she couldn't be so sure. The Bellamy lying before her was not the person that she once knew. She had been devastated upon finding out that he was involved in the massacre of the Grounder Army as she had thought she had known him but now how could she be so sure? It was like Finn all over again.

Lexa once more looked at Clarke before turning her steely gaze on Bellamy.

"Speak Bellamy kom Skaikru," she ordered.

Bellamy's gag was torn from his face to allow him to speak.

"They destroyed their own village," he told Lexa, meeting her gaze with equal ferocity.

"We were forced to do so Heda as we had been forewarned of the attack. We set a trap for the sky people which unfortunately destroyed our home in the process," the Grounder spoke up.

"Did you set out to the village with the intentions of attacking it?" Lexa asked Bellamy.

Bellamy said nothing as Clarke anxiously awaited his reply, her heart thudding in her chest, her palms sweating.

"Yes," he finally admitted. "We didn't intend to kill everyone. We needed the land to grow crops."  
As he spoke he continued to retain eye contact with Lexa, never once did he look in Clarke's direction. Could it be guilt that was causing him to avoid her gaze?

"Take him away!" Lexa demanded.

"No, wait – please!" Clarke made to stand in front of Bellamy. "Don't hurt him," she said desperately.

"He is responsible for the death of hundreds of my people," Lexa growled.

"Give him a trial, a fair trial, that's all I ask. If he's found guilty then so be it but-" Clarke was trying her best to retain her composure but her fear for Bellamy's life was causing her to act irrationally.

"He is guilty," Lexa said venomously.

"Commander, please?" Clarke appealed to Lexa, tears beginning to glide down her cheeks.

Lexa's face remained like stone but Clarke could see the struggle in her eyes.

"Take him to the cells," she barked. "No one lays a hand on him until I say so. We shall decide his fate later, it is after all Ascension Day."

With that Lexa swept from the room. Clarke gave Bellamy a last lingering glance before running after the Commander.

...

Clarke burst into the Commander's chambers to find Lexa standing waiting for her.

"Never do that to me again," she said dangerously quietly. "You made me look weak!"

"I made you look fair," Clarke retorted. "Thank you though," she said genuinely.

"He will still die," Lexa looked away from Clarke.

"What do you mean?" Clarke said quickly.

"He's guilty Clarke, he must pay," Lexa's green eyes briefly connected to hers before drifting away again.

"There must be something you can do?" Clarke implored.

"There isn't. He's a murderer," Lexa said roughly.

"As am I," Clarke said quietly, her guilt at Mount Weather once more resurfacing.

"You're different," Lexa said softly.

"No. I'm not," Clarke said stubbornly. "If you want to put Bellamy on trial for murder then you must put me on trial also."

"Don't be ridiculous," Lexa said patronisingly. "You killed to save your people, Bellamy killed for nothing."

"In his own way he thought he was doing what was best for our people," Clarke implored. "You don't know him like I do. He's a good person Lexa, I promise you. He's just made some mistakes along the way, like all of us."

"You call murdering my people a mistake?" Lexa asked haughtily.

Clarke sighed, all the progress that she had made with Lexa during her time in Polis seemed to have melted away.

"I didn't mean it like that," she said. She was going to need to work harder if she was to get Bellamy out of this mess.

A thought occurred to her and she quickly acted on it before she could change her mind.

"Not that long ago you kneeled in front of me and swore fealty to me," as she spoke she slowly knelt down upon the ground.

Lexa stared down at her transfixed, her expression unreadable.

"I now kneel in front of you Commander and beg you to spare Bellamy's life. Please Heda, blood must not have blood," Clarke stared into Lexa's eyes unblinkingly.

"I'm sorry Clarke but I can't," Lexa said gently.

At her words fresh tears began to flow, a sense of panic began to well up inside of Clarke, it was beginning to look like she wouldn't be able to save Bellamy.

She remained on the floor, the tears turning to heaving sobs as the realisation hit her. Bellamy, the one person that had always stuck by her was about to be lost to her forever.

Lexa dropped down beside Clarke.

"If I could do this for you - for your people," she corrected herself, "Then I would."

"But you're in charge," Clarke sobbed.

"There are some customs that can't be changed," Lexa said, clearly uncomfortable at Clarke's outburst of emotion.

"But you could change them," Clarke heaved between sobs. Without thinking what she was doing she grabbed Lexa with two hands by the collar and shook her. "You could save him!"

Lexa looked shocked but made no move to fight off Clarke.

"I'm sorry Clarke," she whispered before two guards pulled Clarke off of Lexa and dragged her heaving body out of the Commander's chambers.

...

Clarke was escorted to her chambers where she threw herself on her bed and lay sobbing for countless minutes before the tears began to dry up.

What use was lying around crying? Bellamy wasn't dead, she still had time to try and get him out of this mess. If Lexa wasn't willing to help then she'd do it alone.

She jumped off her bed, roughly wiping the remains of her tears from her face before demanding to be taken to Bellamy. What good was being Wanheda if you couldn't put that power to use every now and again?

Clarke was taken to the lowest level of the tower, where she had never ventured before. There were no windows down here, just cold darkness. Her Grounder guard led the way down a narrow corridor guided by the flickering light from a torch.

Eventually they came to a cell where Bellamy was chained by his hands to the ceiling, his head was drooped to the floor, defeated.

"Bellamy," Clarke breathed, despaired at the broken man she saw in front of her.

Bellamy looked up at her slowly, his expression bare.

As the guard let her into the cell she raced over to him and cradled his face in her hands as he had done to her when he had come across her held captive by Roan.

He flinched away from her causing her to withdraw her hand in shock.

"Bellamy, please," she began. "I know we've had our differences the last few months but don't shut me out now."

"Me shut you out?" Bellamy asked incredulously. "You're the one that left me Clarke," he said roughly. "When Indra told us that you were in danger I vowed not to stop looking until I had you back home safe. I would have done anything to get you back..."  
"And I appreciate that," Clarke said calmly.

"And when we did find you and I asked you to come back with me you said no. You chose to stay with a traitor over your own people, over me..." he looked at her earnestly.

Clarke's heart melted at his words.

"I'm sorry if you felt that I was somehow choosing Lexa over you, it wasn't like that. You know that I was doing what was best for our people. We'd just been initiated into the Commander's coalition. I had to stay to be the voice of our people."  
"It didn't have to be you," Bellamy said quietly. "Anyone could have stayed. You _wanted_ to stay," he said sadly.

"Maybe I did," Clarke said honestly. "Maybe I wasn't yet ready to face what I had done."

"What _we_ had done," Bellamy stressed. "Why do you always make it about yourself?"

Clarke felt like she'd been slapped in the face. "I don't," she defended herself. "Why else would I be trying my hardest to get you out of here."

"Maybe I'm not worth it," Bellamy said.

"Maybe you're not!" Clarke retorted angrily. Frustration was starting to build up within her. First she had had no luck with Lexa and now things weren't going to plan with Bellamy either. These were two of the people that she cared most about in this world yet both were proving stubborn.

"I didn't mean that," she said quickly.

"I did," Bellamy said in defeat.

"You've done some bad things Bellamy but that doesn't make you a bad person," Clarke told him.

"Doesn't it?"

"Can you tell me why?" she asked tentatively. "I need to understand."

"We don't know the Grounders the way you do," Bellamy began. "We still see them as the savage beasts that killed so many of our friends when we first landed on Earth. They turned their backs on us when we needed them most, they almost wiped out Farm Station. They're a threat."

"But what made you decide to kill them?" Clarke asked.

"Pike," Bellamy said simply. "I had always respected him on the Ark, when we were reunited with him he spoke a lot of sense..."

"And do you regret it?" Clarke asked hesitantly.

"I don't regret defending our people," Bellamy replied. "But I regret becoming a murderer..."

Clarke breathed a sigh of relief at his confession. The old Bellamy was still in there after all.

"I'm going to get you out of this," she told him.

"Why bother?" Bellamy sighed.

"Because I care about you Bellamy and I'm not ready to lose you," Clarke told him honestly.

Bellamy's eyes searched hers as she spoke.

"I'm sorry about what I did to you back in Arkadia," he told her sorrowfully.

"Forget about it," Clarke muttered.

"I can't," Bellamy admitted. "Just as I see the scattered bodies of all those Grounders each night I also see the look in your face when I handcuffed you."

"Why did you do it?" Clarke asked cautiously.

"I don't know," Bellamy admitted. "I was so wrapped up in Pike's plan at the time that I saw you as the opposition. But at the same time I somehow felt like I was protecting you by keeping you in Arkadia away from Lexa and her people."

"At this moment in time Lexa is less of a threat than Pike," Clarke said angrily.

"He means well," Bellamy defended him. "I'm starting to see now though that we maybe went about things the wrong way..."

"You think?" Clarke raised her eyebrows. "At least you can admit it I guess," she sighed.

"I was angry," Bellamy tried to defend himself. "When they killed Gina that was the final straw for me."

"Gina?" Clarke asked quickly.

Bellamy looked at her guilty. "She was my uh g-girlfriend," he mumbled.

"Oh," Clarke was taken aback. Bellamy had been with his fair share of girls since arriving on Earth but he had never referred to any of them as his girlfriend until now. She found herself feeling oddly jealous.

"She was killed in Mount Weather," Bellamy spoke to the ground rather to Clarke.

"I'm sorry," Clarke told him genuinely.

"We were never that close, not the way that you and I once were," Bellamy shrugged.

Relief washed over Clarke at his words quickly filled with self disgust at her own selfishness.

"But still she was someone special to you and now she's gone," Clarke rested her hand comfortingly on his shoulder.

"She could never compare to y- I mean it was always y-" Bellamy stumbled over his words.

To prevent him struggling any longer Clarke leaned forward and pressed her lips against his. He was surprised at first but quickly responded with gentle passion. It felt so foreign yet comfortable at the same time, as if their relationship had always been heading in this direction.

Clarke gently broke away and rested her forehead against his.

"I will get you out of this," she promised.

She kissed him sweetly on the cheek before turning and walking out of the door. It felt so wrong to be leaving him chained up in this dark, gloomy place but she had been filled with a new sense of determination to save him and the only way she could do that was through Lexa.

...

Lexa was seated in her chamber when Clarke entered.

"It's late Clarke," Lexa sighed.

"I know," Clarke said nervously. "But this can't wait."

"I've already told you there's nothing I can do for Bellamy," Lexa drawled. "You should learn to pick your boyfriends more carefully."

Her comment stung Clarke. She would never forget that it was Lexa that had ordered Finn's death but at the same time she would also never forget the kiss that she and Lexa had shared in the Commander's tent or the whole different side she had seen to Lexa since she had been in Polis.

"He's not my boyfriend," she replied in a dignified manner.

"But you want him to be." It wasn't a question but a statement.

"I didn't say that," Clarke replied."I care for him deeply... as I do you."

Lexa's eyes widened at Clarke's words but she said nothing.

"Bellamy and I have been through so much together, we can't help having formed a strong bond," Clarke explained.

"Do you love him?" Lexa asked tightly. Her face remained still but her eyes frantically searched Clarke.

Clarke was thrown by her question.

"I don't know," she answered honestly. "I have strong feelings towards him yes," this was the first time that she admitted this out loud.

Lexa looked downcast.

"But I have strong feelings for someone else too," Clarke continued.

Lexa looked at her hopefully.

"We've grown close these last few weeks. You've let me see the other side of you and I've enjoyed that," Clarke smiled.

Lexa remained still, her eyes fixated on Clarke.

"Despite everything that has happened between us Lexa I find myself drawn towards you," Clarke couldn't quite believe that just minutes after kissing Bellamy she was standing in front of Lexa expressing her feelings towards her.

"But how can you like us both?" Lexa asked in confusion.

"I don't know," Clarke sighed. "But I do. Now is not the time to dwell on my feelings however. Bellamy is in trouble and I need your help to save him."  
The emotion from Lexa's face immediately vanished.

"I'm not asking you to pardon him," Clarke said quickly upon seeing her expression. "I'm asking you to help me break him out."

Lexa looked at her in surprise. "It can't be done."

"It can if you help me," Clarke stressed.

"Even if I did and you got caught, I couldn't protect you Clarke. Don't put me in the position where I have to sentence you to death," Lexa looked at her pleadingly.

"That's only if I get caught," Clarke said determinedly. "I'm doing this with or without you Lexa."

"No-" Lexa said firmly.

"But-"

"You won't be the one that breaks Bellamy out, I will," Lexa told her.

"I can't ask you to-" Clarke began in surprise.

"You didn't. I offered. I won't risk you getting caught. I need y- we all need you alive in order for the coalition to continue," Lexa stated. "Besides, if he escapes then all eyes will be looking at you. No one will dare to accuse me of assisting a prisoner."

Clarke was speechless for once. For Lexa to offer to go against her own people to rescue Bellamy for her, it truly was an act of personal sacrifice.

"Thank you," Clarke breathed.

"Don't thank me yet," Lexa said grimly. "Now go to your chambers, make sure the guards see you and don't leave until I come for you. Make as much noise as you can to let them know that you are in your room."

Clarke nodded and quickly headed towards the door.

"Clarke?"

Clarke turned and looked back at Lexa.

"He'll never truly be free. He'll be living a life on the run. I'll have to issue a kill order on him," Lexa told her.

"I understand," Clarke nodded. "He'll be alive and that's all that matters. We can protect him at Arkadia."

"He doesn't strike me as the kind of person who would be ok with being cooped up day after day," Lexa said.

She was right of course but Clarke was thinking only of herself and how she couldn't bare for him to be taken away from her forever.

"I'll figure something out," Clarke said stubbornly.

"Very well," Lexa sighed.

...

Clarke returned to her chambers where she began pacing back and forth in nervous anticipation. Every now and again she would pick up random items and place them back down forcefully so that her Guards could hear that she inside as per Lexa's instructions.

Time became irrelevant as she waited anxiously, unsure whether minutes or hours had passed by.

If things went badly then she faced losing the two people that were most important to her in the one go.

She thought of the two as she waited, two very different yet similar people at the same time. Both leaders, both trying to do what was best for their people, both willing to do anything for her. It was only now that the two were in the same place at the same time that she was able to acknowledge that she had feelings for both of them. Her feelings for Bellamy had been there before they had met Lexa. While her feelings for Lexa had grown when Bellamy had not been around. Now that the two had been thrust together, she was no longer able to keep her feelings separate and she was left feeling extremely confused. She liked them both equally, could not possibly think of picking one over the other. The way Bellamy had responded to their kiss, he clearly reciprocated her feelings and Lexa had been the one to initiate their kiss all those months ago. Her feelings could have changed since then but Clarke didn't think so, not after all the time she had spent with her recently.

Clarke didn't know how long it was but eventually Lexa slipped into her room and rushed over to her.

"It is done," she stated. "He's on a horse on his way back to Arkadia."

"Oh thank you!" Clarke couldn't contain her joy and threw her arms around Lexa who stood rigidly.

"Sorry," Clarke quickly stepped away from Lexa.

"Don't be," Lexa said gently.

"What you did for me tonight, I won't forget it," Clarke told her.

"It was what was best for our people," Lexa acknowledged.

"No, it was what was best for me," Clarke smiled. Even though she knew Lexa would probably never admit it she knew in her heart that she had rescued Bellamy for her.

Clarke reached forward and grabbed Lexa's face pulling it towards her own where their lips collided. It was different to kissing Bellamy, neither better or worse, just different.

This time it was Lexa that pulled away from Clarke. She looked at her sadly.

"Now that Bellamy is safe I think you need to take some time to figure out what it is that you want," she told her.

With that she slowly walked away, leaving Clarke unclear as to how her heart was going to chose between Bellamy and Lexa.

...

 _ **Sorry for leaving it like that but I genuinely can't chose between the pairings! I love them both!**_


End file.
